Entertaining and Understanding your Trog
As a long time Troglodyte researcher, this is perhaps one of the hardest areas of my ongoing effort to understand trog society. That troglodytes need to be entertained is without question, however, trying to find what holds a trogs attention is near impossible to pin down. As they first enter troghood you will find that they are content to play with the same toys as pre-trogs and will continue this practice for at least a year, sometimes as long as two and in very extreme cases this can last for three years.
Eventually however, they will grow away from the toys of their pre-trog years and these will then either be discarded (usually under the bed) or passed down to younger trogs. The main problem with this growing away is the void left behind.
This is where the problems really start, for as a trog grows older, its attention span grows shorter and this can lead to major problems. The mid teen trog is a creature of impulse, but at the same time must feel as if it belongs to the wider community of trogs. This can lead to the first true dilemma that a trog must face: How to fit in and yet be an individual.
As you study trogs, you will notice that they all look more or less the same within their own tribes. The dress codes of the various tribes is surprisingly rigid and once accepted into a tribe, it is incredibly rare for a trog to switch allegiance. The tribe is where trogs seek their entertainment.
The most extreme tribe I have found so far is the 'Goth'. The Goth tribe of troglodytes are fascinating to observe, they tend to be highly intelligent (by trog standards) and seem to take great delight in shock value, this, I am coming to believe is how they keep themselves amused. As with all tribes, they congregate in groups and because of their outlandish dress tend to be seen as dangerous. I can, however, report that this is in fact a myth, Goth trogs may look violent but although they will defend their tribe if threatened, prefer to be left alone to listen to their music and swap make up tips (uniquely amongst trogs, both male and female engage in this activity). Their preferred entertainment seems to be anything black, preferably with either skulls or demons on it. If you own a Goth trog, the best way to entertain it is to buy it a copy of 'The Exorcist, Directors cut' which they find highly amusing and will derive hours of pleasure from watching.
Another tribe of note is the 'surfer'. These are native to the North American Continent only. These trogs tend to be attractive, self assured and almost totally brainless. They are unique in several ways. Their language has evolved into something that even a dedicated researcher like myself cannot hope to understand, although with time I hope this will change. Surfer trogs have a strict hierarchy and they tolerate no deviation in dress code or behaviour. The alpha male of the tribe is always, and there are absolutely no exceptions to this rule, the most handsome of the tribe, and is paired with the prettiest female. They rule with a rod of iron and the rest of the tribe defer to their every whim. There is one advantage to owning a surfer trog, entertaining them is simplicity itself, the only thing a surfer trog wants is a surfboard and money, if you can provide one or the other you will have successfully tamed your trog.
In Great Britain, there is a tribe of trogs that I consider extremely dangerous and would advise extreme caution when approaching them. These are the 'chav' trogs. This tribe is immediately identifiable by it's loud and tasteless jewellery and by the fact they begin breeding at a very young age, it is not unusual to see the females of the tribe accompanied by several offspring. Chavs are dangerous because they have no code of honour, whereas most other trog tribe will leave each other alone, chavs will seek out trouble and even instigate it. Having said this, chavs are extremely loyal to their own and to my astonishment, will count parents as part of the tribe. Entertaining a chav is fraught with difficulty and I suggest that you take a social worker with you if you wish to attempt communicate with one.
As for entertaining a trog, whichever tribe it comes from, I have found two things that seem to apply across the board: Gaming consoles and mobile phones, all trogs, no matter what tribe they come from will be more than pleased to receive either. A trog without a mobile phone is seen as a threat by other trogs, so if you want your trog to fit into its chosen tribe, make sure it is fully equipped to do so. For a small initial outlay, you can be assured that no only will your trog be entertained for hours, it will also be accepted into the wider trog world.
Eventually however, they will grow away from the toys of their pre-trog years and these will then either be discarded (usually under the bed) or passed down to younger trogs. The main problem with this growing away is the void left behind.
This is where the problems really start, for as a trog grows older, its attention span grows shorter and this can lead to major problems. The mid teen trog is a creature of impulse, but at the same time must feel as if it belongs to the wider community of trogs. This can lead to the first true dilemma that a trog must face: How to fit in and yet be an individual.
As you study trogs, you will notice that they all look more or less the same within their own tribes. The dress codes of the various tribes is surprisingly rigid and once accepted into a tribe, it is incredibly rare for a trog to switch allegiance. The tribe is where trogs seek their entertainment.
The most extreme tribe I have found so far is the 'Goth'. The Goth tribe of troglodytes are fascinating to observe, they tend to be highly intelligent (by trog standards) and seem to take great delight in shock value, this, I am coming to believe is how they keep themselves amused. As with all tribes, they congregate in groups and because of their outlandish dress tend to be seen as dangerous. I can, however, report that this is in fact a myth, Goth trogs may look violent but although they will defend their tribe if threatened, prefer to be left alone to listen to their music and swap make up tips (uniquely amongst trogs, both male and female engage in this activity). Their preferred entertainment seems to be anything black, preferably with either skulls or demons on it. If you own a Goth trog, the best way to entertain it is to buy it a copy of 'The Exorcist, Directors cut' which they find highly amusing and will derive hours of pleasure from watching.
Another tribe of note is the 'surfer'. These are native to the North American Continent only. These trogs tend to be attractive, self assured and almost totally brainless. They are unique in several ways. Their language has evolved into something that even a dedicated researcher like myself cannot hope to understand, although with time I hope this will change. Surfer trogs have a strict hierarchy and they tolerate no deviation in dress code or behaviour. The alpha male of the tribe is always, and there are absolutely no exceptions to this rule, the most handsome of the tribe, and is paired with the prettiest female. They rule with a rod of iron and the rest of the tribe defer to their every whim. There is one advantage to owning a surfer trog, entertaining them is simplicity itself, the only thing a surfer trog wants is a surfboard and money, if you can provide one or the other you will have successfully tamed your trog.
In Great Britain, there is a tribe of trogs that I consider extremely dangerous and would advise extreme caution when approaching them. These are the 'chav' trogs. This tribe is immediately identifiable by it's loud and tasteless jewellery and by the fact they begin breeding at a very young age, it is not unusual to see the females of the tribe accompanied by several offspring. Chavs are dangerous because they have no code of honour, whereas most other trog tribe will leave each other alone, chavs will seek out trouble and even instigate it. Having said this, chavs are extremely loyal to their own and to my astonishment, will count parents as part of the tribe. Entertaining a chav is fraught with difficulty and I suggest that you take a social worker with you if you wish to attempt communicate with one.
As for entertaining a trog, whichever tribe it comes from, I have found two things that seem to apply across the board: Gaming consoles and mobile phones, all trogs, no matter what tribe they come from will be more than pleased to receive either. A trog without a mobile phone is seen as a threat by other trogs, so if you want your trog to fit into its chosen tribe, make sure it is fully equipped to do so. For a small initial outlay, you can be assured that no only will your trog be entertained for hours, it will also be accepted into the wider trog world.
posted by shezzy's sanitarium at 9:31 PM
3 Comments:
LMAO at "If you own a Goth trog...!"
And, I am taking notes!
oh shez, this is priceless!
it is my understanding that there is a sub-species of surfer trog to be found in australia.
here in north america i have also found another tribe known as gangsta-trogs. they are identifiable by the hand signals, excessive bling and among the males, sagging trousers. makes and females have their presence announced by loud, bass heavy music which carries little melody and unintelligible lyrics
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