Monday, January 16, 2006

Boredom in space

God space is boring, you earthers have no bloody idea how boring space is! You sit there looking at your pretty pictures of fancy nebula with their artificial colours and you think space is great, believe me, it ain't!

Come and do a 5 year stint on my transport and within a week you'll be chewing your own ankles in frustration. And it's not just my ship before you start to point fingers! Ask any deep spacer and they will say the same, Space is BORING!!!!

Forget all those old 20th and 21st century TV shows, they lied, there is no fancy light show when a ship goes to faster than lightspeed. In fact, there is nothing, nada, zip. The jump to ftl (faster than lightspeed to you non tech types) is slightly interesting. You can feel the power building in the engines and then the lurch as the ship jumps, but you can't even watch the transition because the flash would blind you. After that you have absolutely nothing to look at, after all, you are going faster than light so it never quite catches up with you.

If you're lucky you will have a short haul delivery, a couple of weeks, that's not too bad, you can just about keep yourself busy but if you get a long are screwed, you can pack as much stuff as you like to try and keep yourself sane but in the end, the boredom wins. I specialise in long haulers and I know every trick in the book when it comes to fending off the dreaded beast. Hell, I wrote the damned book, it's required reading if you want to get your long haul license.

Come to think of it, I've actually written quite a few books since I started this gig, done a bit of painting too, you might have seen a couple of them, apparently they are quite sought after by the bigger corporations, I've been told they look good in the lobbys. I've got a couple of PHD's, one from Oxford and one from MIT, oh and a BA from the university of Beijing. I'm a pretty good clarinetist. I am a damned good photographer if I say so, I've taken pictures of every inch of the ship, inside anyway (you can't EVA at ftl). I'm a fair horticulturist, I once managed to grow a hybrid of a sunflower and a rose, ugliest damn thing you ever saw. I can speak 24 languages (not that there is anyone to talk to out here) and I even invented a better mousetrap.

But damn, space is boring!!!!


Anonymous logo said...

sounds like an intro to an interesting character

6:51 AM  
Blogger bsoholic said...

I bet an "inprobability drive" would at least be interesting for the long hauler.

8:01 PM  

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