Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Ultimate Question

I'm going mad, it's so not fair, how come I get asked this damned question?

It's not as if there wasn't anyone else to ask, I mean, I'm surrounded by others who are exactly like me!!!

There I was happily munching on this nice clump of grass I'd found when the alarm went up that there were hyenas on the prowl. I really hate hyenas, they are always so bloody happy! I went to my allotted station, well annoyed I was, I was hungry but duty is duty and if I ever want to make my mark in the herd I've got to be vigilant. I spotted them straight away, a whole pack of them, filthy things, I once had a conversation with a dung beetle about hyenas and he said they were a necessary evil..hah!!

They were just walking around pretending to mind their own business, but you could see they were just looking for an opportunity to cut one of us out of the herd. Well, they weren't going to succeed, not on my watch, I called over a few others and we mock charged them (we aren't stupid enough to actually fight them) and they ran away giggling, by the great plains of the serengeti I hate that laugh, it sends shivers down my spine.

We were all a bit surprised when they just lay in the shade of an acacia tree and watched us, I tell you, I've never seen hyenas do that before, I hate when they start doing things differently, it makes everyone nervous and the leader of the herd (a stallion way to big for his hooves in my humble opinion) gets very twitchy and starts taking it out on us lesser mortals.

They eventually got up and wandered away, much to our relief but a few hours later they were back. The leader of the pack slowly walked towards us and when he got within shouting distance he asked for a parlay!! Surprised? We were all speechless, hyenas never ask for parley! Mr 'I'm to big for my hooves' told me to go and talk to him and I had no choice but to obey, well it was either that or look like a total coward!

I've never been so terrified in my life, I just knew I was going to be eaten but the hyena lay down and didn't even growl. I got as close as I dared and asked him what he wanted.

'Not much' he answered, 'We just want you to settle an argument'

I looked at him in disbelief and he continued 'Are you zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes?'

With that he giggled and ran off. I stood there like an idiot for a while then went back to the herd, I reported what the hyena had said and Mr 'I'm too big for my hooves' just looked at me and said, 'stupid hyena, who cares what stripes we are?'

The trouble is, it's been bothering me ever since, I've asked all the other animals on the plains and I keep getting different answers.

I'm having an identity crisis!!!!


Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

HI Shezzy girl!! XX

3:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what sort of writing is that? I am not used to blogs - is that a blog or some sort of ... hell, I dont know what it is ... you drink a lot do you?

12:52 AM  
Blogger shezzy's sanitarium said...

to anonymous, I wasn't aware that blogs had to be specific, please enlighten me as to what a blog should be so I can ignore it...thank you

2:12 PM  
Blogger Logophile said...

You tell 'em Shez.
What an ass.

6:05 AM  
Blogger Clay said...

This person probably blogs about his life. "OMG LYK I TOTALY TALKED TO BRIAN TODAY AN HE IS LYK TOTALLY GONNA TAKE ME OUT OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!!1!!!111!!" Moron.
I haven't seen you in trivia lately...

3:39 AM  
Blogger Clay said...

Her, that is, otherwise it would'nt quite go with the "quote"

3:40 AM  
Blogger snavy said...

LOL Shez! That was great!! You are so clever!!

11:55 PM  
Blogger prabin said...

plurality of identity is superfluous yet not redundant.Once that is recognised the color of ur skin or the pattern of ur shades could be easily endorsed without being apprehended :)

just a thought, nice story telling btw. Just if u wonder who i were, i was chatting with u around 11:00GMT.

12:53 PM  

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