Saturday, April 01, 2006

Zeus musing

Hmm, what shall I do today, I wonder? I'm getting a bit tired of chucking thunderbolts around, gets a bit boring after a while and anyway, Hephaestus hasn't delivered my next batch yet, I think I'll send him a memo. Maybe later, I can't be bothered at the moment.

I saw a nice looking girl the other day when I was down on earth, I think I'll go and seduce her, I'll have to be careful though, Hera is keeping an eye on me, can't get away from the woman! What's the use of being a god if you can't have a little fun now and again? She takes my little affairs so damned seriously.

I mean, it's not as if she's as pure as the driven snow, she's had her fair share of dalliances. Do I make a fuss? Well a little but nowhere near as much as she does. It's getting harder though, apparently my reputation is getting around. There was a time when I could just toddle down to earth, have an orgy and be home in time for the ambrosia and nectar party, but now, it's all changing.

Athena doesn't help, she gets all high and mighty and starts spouting off about 'womens rights', what in the name of hades are 'womans rights'?? Demeter keeps going on about the beauty of nature and saying women should get back in touch with it, Aphrodite is off on one of her 'beauty is truth and truth is beauty' things. This is all very well but it doesn't make my life any easier, how am I supposed to get my leg over if all the women down on the lower planes are busy thinking? Maybe I should write a memo.

Eros is getting just as bad, he keeps drifting around polishing his arrows then getting all doe eyed when he shoots them at people, it's sickening, I think he's taking this whole 'love' thing a bit too seriously. I've told him time and time again, don't overdo the love thing, it makes other people jealous, but does he listen?

And Ares, don't even get me started about Ares, the boy needs to be taken down a peg or two, he's getting way to big for his boots. War has it's place but the Elysian fields are getting overcrowded. Pluto has done nothing but whine for the last 3 years about bad housing conditions and how Tartarus has been going steadily downhill. I wonder if I should send Ares a memo.

And I've got Neptune on my back, he keep ranting about his 'children', they're fish for crying out loud, I made fish so people could eat them, not so they could be mollycoddled. I just can't seem to get that through his seaweed addled brain. He comes up to Olympus, dripping water everywhere and makes my life miserable, babbling on about cod and herring. I think I made a mistake allowing him to become king of the oceans. I think I'll send him a memo too, threatening to demote him, that should keep him quiet for a while.

Aha, Hepaestus has arrived with my thunderbolts, he does beautiful work, a real craftsman, I can forgive him a lot because of that. I notice Hera has been sending a lot of work his way lately, I wonder why, it's not as if he needs the money, and I can't imagine she fancies him, he's as ugly as an egyptian god.

I'd best keep an eye on her though, she gets these ideas sometimes, probably from talking to Athena.

These thunderbolts are truly excellent, I think I'll try a few out now. Ares is down there somewhere, I wonder if I could hit him from here. That would keep him on his toes.

And it's better than sending a memo.


Blogger lime said...

just another day at olympus huh? hehehe. good one

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Logo said...

Oh, I want some lightening bolts now!
Forget the post it notes!
Love it.

12:50 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Loved this! I love Greek & Roman mythology. Very clever you are.

7:24 PM  

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