Bonding with Trogs
Bonding with trogs is fraught with difficulty. Apart from the language barrier, there are several other obstacles to overcome.
As mentioned, the language barrier is always a problem, even if you are fairly fluent in troglish, there is huge scope for misunderstanding and this will impede the bonding process. Oddly, it is sometimes easier to bond with your trogs tribal peers than with your own trog. I wholeheartedly encourage this as it will make your trog more tractable to your overtures. However, do not try and speak troglish to them, this will only make you an object of ridicule. Speak in your normal native language, trogs will understand every word you say (although they will sometimes pretend otherwise).
Do try and understand your trogs wants and needs, no matter how bizarre they seem. While this will aid in the bonding process, beware of overcompensating, under no circumstances must you give in to your trogs every whim. You must balance between practicality, expense and giving your trog the occasional treat.
Trogs will expect you to provide them with sundry items which you consider totally unreasonable, for example, a car/plane/space shuttle. You must explain to them why these items are not available to them. Do not be surprised when your trog has a temper tantrum when informed that these items are denied to them. Do not be tempted to purchase any of these things for them for the sake of a 'peaceful life'.
Under no circumstances buy your trog a pet. They will assure you with great conviction that they will be the primary carer of said pet but this only lasts about a week, after that, your trog will conveniently forget and you will then find yourself with the unenviable task of not only having a trog to look after but also a trogpet. This will be a major setback in the bonding process but can be compensated for by blatant bribery.
Do make a show of giving in to your trogs demands occasionally, this will aid the bonding process immensely as your trog will think it has won a major victory. This is best done with great melodrama, as trogs appreciate grand gestures.
On a more subtle level, although trogs are convinced that they need nobody outside their tribe, always make yourself available to them when they feel the need to talk, this does not happen often but when it does, it is time well invested. Trogs are unable to express their deepest feelings easily and will skirt around the subject they really want to discuss. Do not try and hurry them, if you have an appointment, cancel it immediately as once your trog finds the courage to express itself, you will be tied up for hours. Do not ridicule their fears and worries as to the average trog these are matters of great importance, even if to you they seem silly. Never forget, a trog is at heart a very fragile creature and its ego is easily bruised.
Meal times are an excellent occasion to bond with your trog. They will always come out of their bedrooms (or caves) to feed and you can then discuss important issues with them. Never let a trog take its meal into its bedroom. If you do this you will have lost one of the few opportunities to observe your trog and make sure of its general health and wellbeing.
On the whole, bonding with a trog is at best a hit and miss affair, just when you think you are making progress, your trog will suddenly change its whole attitude and demeanour and you will be back at square one. But it is also a rewarding process, your trog will, in an unguarded moment, surprise you with a small gift or even a hug. This is a sign that all your hard work is paying off and that you are successfully bonding with your trog.
As mentioned, the language barrier is always a problem, even if you are fairly fluent in troglish, there is huge scope for misunderstanding and this will impede the bonding process. Oddly, it is sometimes easier to bond with your trogs tribal peers than with your own trog. I wholeheartedly encourage this as it will make your trog more tractable to your overtures. However, do not try and speak troglish to them, this will only make you an object of ridicule. Speak in your normal native language, trogs will understand every word you say (although they will sometimes pretend otherwise).
Do try and understand your trogs wants and needs, no matter how bizarre they seem. While this will aid in the bonding process, beware of overcompensating, under no circumstances must you give in to your trogs every whim. You must balance between practicality, expense and giving your trog the occasional treat.
Trogs will expect you to provide them with sundry items which you consider totally unreasonable, for example, a car/plane/space shuttle. You must explain to them why these items are not available to them. Do not be surprised when your trog has a temper tantrum when informed that these items are denied to them. Do not be tempted to purchase any of these things for them for the sake of a 'peaceful life'.
Under no circumstances buy your trog a pet. They will assure you with great conviction that they will be the primary carer of said pet but this only lasts about a week, after that, your trog will conveniently forget and you will then find yourself with the unenviable task of not only having a trog to look after but also a trogpet. This will be a major setback in the bonding process but can be compensated for by blatant bribery.
Do make a show of giving in to your trogs demands occasionally, this will aid the bonding process immensely as your trog will think it has won a major victory. This is best done with great melodrama, as trogs appreciate grand gestures.
On a more subtle level, although trogs are convinced that they need nobody outside their tribe, always make yourself available to them when they feel the need to talk, this does not happen often but when it does, it is time well invested. Trogs are unable to express their deepest feelings easily and will skirt around the subject they really want to discuss. Do not try and hurry them, if you have an appointment, cancel it immediately as once your trog finds the courage to express itself, you will be tied up for hours. Do not ridicule their fears and worries as to the average trog these are matters of great importance, even if to you they seem silly. Never forget, a trog is at heart a very fragile creature and its ego is easily bruised.
Meal times are an excellent occasion to bond with your trog. They will always come out of their bedrooms (or caves) to feed and you can then discuss important issues with them. Never let a trog take its meal into its bedroom. If you do this you will have lost one of the few opportunities to observe your trog and make sure of its general health and wellbeing.
On the whole, bonding with a trog is at best a hit and miss affair, just when you think you are making progress, your trog will suddenly change its whole attitude and demeanour and you will be back at square one. But it is also a rewarding process, your trog will, in an unguarded moment, surprise you with a small gift or even a hug. This is a sign that all your hard work is paying off and that you are successfully bonding with your trog.
posted by shezzy's sanitarium at 8:01 PM
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